Flirting with Empty Promises

Drink of the day:  Shitty mocha from the coffee thingy at work
Soundtrack of the day:  Kitty scrambling across the floors of the new place

Yes, that’s right, I’m back and in a new place!  Woo hoo!  Got my interwebs hooked up tonight, but ran across a small problem while trying to do the tv.  So, no tv and sleeping in the living room for me yet.

So yeah, the funny thing is…How you can write about being so incredibly frustrated with someone, then when you see them your heart goes all squishy and so on, and mere hours later, they walk out of your life.  I just don’t understand. It’s been five days and I don’t feel any better…If anything, I feel worse with every passing day.

New job, new place, grad is over and done with (therefore, I never have to have anything to do with that terrible excuse for a school ever, ever again) and yet, the one person I wanted to share it all with, left.  I accomplished absolutely no unpacking on Sunday.  I returned his truck, and all the new beginnings sort of feelings hit me, and I didn’t want any part of it.  I honestly wanted to curl up on the (probably) mouldy carpet of my old apartment, cuz that’s where he’d know to find me.  How completely pathetic is that!?  I didn’t want to leave that place, there were memories there.  There aren’t any here, and you would think that would make the moving on part of things easier.  I can’t look in that corner over there and remember that time he stood there and told me how cute I looked, or when he stood awkwardly by the kitchen sink drinking a glass of water the first time he came over.  Saying goodbye to that place also meant saying goodbye to spatial memories of drinking rum and watching X-men cartoons with a friend, or an awkward night of watching Sweeney Todd, wrapped in blankets on another night of loss.  I didn’t return to the new place that night until well after 10 pm.  Instead of returning home to unpack, I went to a little shop, had a lovely mocha, and a good visit with some wonderful ladies I know will always be there Sunday afternoons.  With new beginnings, I needed something old and familiar to patch a tiny hole in what feels like a gaping abyss in my chest.

Today, I am fairly proud of myself.  This is the first time I’ve cried all day.  My job is awful for that, I’m on my own for the majority of the day.  I had a good chat with one of the articling students though.  She’s very nice, and made me feel good when I told her of my current plan to return to school before it’s too late.  She reassured me that I could do it, and if I needed any help, or just some advice, that’d she be happy to speak with me.     This was the first time I’d really spoken to her and it made me smile.  One of the lawyers has told me something very similar.  I quite like her as well.  Many of the people in the office are really helping me to feel a part of the place.  It’s nice.

But, I think I’m going to find some sweat pants and take a drive.  I don’t feel like being here right now, cross your fingers my car starts.  If I had tv, that might be different.  I will post again soon.

luv, L

Drink of the Day:  London Fog; Blackberry Merlot
Soundtrack of the Day:  Rufus Wainwright

Hello again lovely and dear readers…

So, things have been super crazy busy for yours truly lately.  Let’s see….I quit working at Corporate Canada Hell.  Sorry, wasn’t so fun while it lasted.  I did thoroughly enjoy my “exit interview” however.  On to bigger and better things for this here girlie.  And by bigger and better, I mean a three floor law office.    That’s right, I have a real job now.  Unfortunately, it’s not quite what I was hoping for, but hell, it’s a steady paycheque, and that’s about all I care about.

Things with the Boy are up and down.  I hates it when you really really care about someone and they can piss you off to the point where you just don’t give a shit anymore, and are one more disappointment away from saying eff off and don’t come back, but then you see their damn blue eyes and your heart goes all squishy, and you lose your short-term memory.  Blarg, it’s frustrating.

Due to an interruption from the Mum, this post has taken a very long time.

Hmm, what else.  I have my “grad” tomorrow, but we don’t really care about that.  Then I’m going home to watch my baby brother play football.  Then back up here on Sunday to move me!  That’s right, I’m out of this horrible mouldy apartment!!!  Yay!

Anyway, I think my food is actually done.  It also took a long time due to not turning the oven on hot enough and wondering for a 1/2 hour why my squash wasn’t cooked before realizing it was 100 degrees lower than it should have been.

Luvs, L

P.S.  Magic Erasers truly are a gift from higher powers.  ^-^

I always have such good intentions to keep up with this, and yet I never do.

Alas.

Well, it seems as though things are picking up around here.  Which is great.

Well, some of it I guess.

I can’t tell what the good news is.  Confidentiality.  Sigh.  But the result of it is that I will be going back to knitting group every weekend right away!!  And there’s no more worry about how my rent and bills will be paid at the end of the month.  Woot.

Yep, just wanted to update all (probably like 2) of you.

hugs
L

Drink of the Day:  Water, I can’t afford anything else
Soundtrack of the day:  Rain water soaking into my carpet

All right, I shall warn y’all in advance that this will likely be completely incoherent.  You have been warned!!!

Like the title says, I only want to know what in the Seven Hells I ever did to deserve what’s been happening recently.

So, a quick recap of everything that’s been happening:

BAD STUFFS

1. school went down the tubes with the new instructor
2. car completely crapped out, needed new battery and alternator
3. subsequently had to take the bus half way across the city to get to work
4. started working a second job in hopes I would actually be able to make payments on my various bills
5. my dog had to be put down because he had been hit by a car (not to mention that no one in my family thought to tell me about this)
6. crazy day of rain rendered my carpets soaked and a stinky wet carpet smelling apartment…..again
7. lost my job with only 2.5 months of school left to go
8. was late for school this morning because the car wouldn’t start and I had to call a classmate to pick me up
9. car was smoking when I returned home after a very quick jaunt for groceries and gas this afternoon

GOOD STUFFS

1. boy
2. getting kitty

Now, I highly doubt that being allowed to get a kitty is a good enough thing for Karma to wind up and give me a flying bicycle kick to the ass.  What does that leave?  Oh yeah, the boy.  Hmmm, that must be it.  The Fates were like, “Yeah, let’s give this poor, sad girl this Amazing Boy to spend some time with.  She’ll like that.  Oh look, she’s smiling!  She’s actually happy.  Isn’t that lovely?”  Then Karma came by, told the Fates they were bitches for screwing around with his pet project (that’s right, he likes to wreck people’s lives, he has special people picked out who he has deemed that nothing good will ever, ever happen to them), and decided to make absolutely everything else in the poor, sad girl’s life extra, extra horrible to balance out the Amazing Boy and bring his project back to a neutrally bad position.  (yeah, I’m piecing together different mythologies and so on, bite me.)

Honestly, is there anything else that makes any sense????    Yeah, especially because in light of losing said job, I can no longer afford my kitty.     I had it picked out and everything.

the poor, sad, little girl who lives in one great big ball of suck

L

Drink of the Day:  Blackberry Lichee Bacardi Breezer
Soundtrack of the Day:  Shouting/crying/screaming neighbours

So, I can’t believe one week of my summer break is over already!  This really is terrible news. 

Let’s see, what’s new…

I get to pick out my kitty on Thursday before work.  I’m pretty excited about it.

I got my hair cut.  I love, love, love it.  But I may have already told you that.  It is, yet again, a new colour though.  It’s purple and blue!!  Yay!  I also poked a hole in my lip.  It makes me pretty happy.  I look pretty bad ass awesome and it’s a great thing.

I cleaned some of my apartment.  That was not so much fun.  Found a plethora of spiders.  Ick.

Oh, we got an assload of rain last weekend and my apartment flooded.  My landlord is useless and I’m still waiting on him to come steam clean the carpet.  So the everything (well, mostly the yarn stash) that should be tucked away in the storage closet, is all over the main room.  Hence only cleaning part of my apartment.

Um…let’s see…what else.

Ooh!  The Jazz Festival is on.  I’ve managed to catch a mainstage show already, hit up the free stage once and am going to another mainstage show on Friday.  Fantastic!  So, on Saturday night the boy and I managed to catch The Dirty Dozen Brass Band and K-OS.  Boy was super excited about the whole thing.  It was pretty awesome all around.  I am dragging him to Mobadass on Friday.  Amped?  Yes I am.  Woot!  And I don’t work before hand this time so I think some predrinking is in order…I am far less self-conscious about dancing like an idiot if I have had enough to drink.  Yay!

I have done absolutely no knitting during my break and it’s making me sad.  I think I shall finish this blog and then scour my collection of sock patterns and make me some new socks.  I can take them to the park tomorrow to work on while taking in Canada Day S’toon style.  ^_^   Yay!  More drinking??  Probably.

Going out for birthday drinks for a friend’s fiancee tonight.  Woot.

Went shopping today.  Bought a new lip ring.  Didn’t fit.    Then I lost the ball down the sink.  Double .  Also bought a labret stud.  Didn’t fit either.     Put it in the tragus hole instead.     Put the tragus ring in the second hole in the left lobe, and put the ring from the second hole in the left lobe in the lip.  There was copious amounts of disinfecting going on.  Oh yes, I am quite careful about these things.   Stretched the tragus to 16g again.  Ouch.  Lip’s a bit puffy again, oh well.  I is happy. 

I bought a new book today.  Simply because the cover was awesome and it said something about Nicholas Flamel on the cover.  Turns out stupid book is the third in a series.  Now I have to go find the first two.  Sigh.  Also signed up for book rewards card.  Meh, for as much as I buy damn books, I will more than make up the stupid 25$.

La la la.

Yeah, I think that’s about it.  T minus 25 days to the “wedding week of awesome.”  Woot!  So excited for that!!

cheers, L

Drink of the Day:  something tasty I haven’t had yet.
Song of the Day:  something awesome not coming to mind at the moment

I don’t really have anything useful to blog about today.  Sigh.

I bought a purse today!  This is a rather odd thing for me but it is quite lovely.  And white.  And all leather like.  It makes me happy.  I did this instead of piercing my lip.  Which I decided I only want to do out of spite, which is a rather bad reason.

I also got a hair cut which I am completely ecstatic about!  And it also remade my mind to get my lip pierced.  It would look rather awesome with my new hair.  Sigh.

Hmmm what else.  I wandered around downtown which is always fantastic.  And yeah.  That’s about it.

Oh right, I went to school for a half hour this morning.  I don’t have to go tomorrow morning.  And apparently we are no longer watching a movie on Friday (last day of classes before our two week break) because there are some “class room issues which need to be addressed.”  Oh, really??  Are we going to address the fact that our education, and hire-a-bility (I have a degree that says I can make up all the words I want to, damnit) after, because you are the most completely flaming useless instructor on the planet?  I dunno, that might have something to do with it.  How about how I feel like defying everything you say because I detest having to get out of bed and spend three hours in your presence every day?  Or how I get out of bed literally 10 minutes before I have to leave because I hate being there so much.  How about the fact that the only reason I do still go every day is because Student Loans is going to forgive $4,000 of my loan if I finish?  Yeah, that’s right, I want to quit because of you.  How about the fact that in a year or two I am going to write the LSAT and go to back to Real School, become a lawyer so that if you ever need a new job, I can not hire you!?   Muwahahahah!

Good rant, that. 

On other points, we’ve initiated a Formal Complaint against said craptacular instructor.  Hopefully now something will be done.  However, I do find this rather doubtful.  My life would be fantastic if I came back from Break and she was gone.  Ah, that would be great.  Mmm, happy day dream.

My kitty was born!!!  Yay yay yay!  I picked the all black one and am very excited.

Ok, that’s about enough nonsense for now.  Later.